After graduating from College with a business degree, I had two choices: climb up the corporate ladder or do my own thing. I decided to skip the ladder and do the latter (get it?). I started my own boutique content marketing company and made it a daily goal to be blissfully happy.
My decision to (excuse the expression) fuck everything and just do whatever I like started on January 13th, 2012. I just finished my first semester in College, weighing in at 200 lbs, give or take a few pounds.
I was training, sure, but my nutrition was everything but ideal as I struggled with binge eating throughout High School. I remember looking at myself in the mirror that cold, January day, when I had all the holiday food in my body, and crying without being able to stop.
I was a 17 year-old obese teenager, with no clear idea of what I wanted to do with my life and an unhealthy relationship with food. Needless to say that my confidence was pretty much shattered. I couldn’t see the light at the end of the tunnel, that day.
“How could I let myself reach this point? Why do I look like this? Why isn’t the gym paying off?”
I started looking on the Internet to see what “quick-fixes” could get me to that skinny body. I searched and searched online for skinny teas, fat burners and magic concoctions that would just melt the fat away. Every magical potion though said that I needed to eat healthy, which I absolutely refused to do.
“I love food” was my excuse. I couldn’t just possibly stop eating cake or muffins, because I loved food too much.
After about an hour or so of searching the internet, my father called me. We talked for a few minutes and I told him that I was looking on the Internet for some skinny tips. When he asked me why, I bursted in tears like a baby and told him that I hated the way I looked but nothing seemed to work! That’s when he just went ballistic.
“Why are you crying? You brought this on yourself! You go to the gym for 30 minutes every day and I bet you don’t even sweat. If you want to lose weight, skip the quick fixes, eat well and actually workout!” he said to me.
I hated him for that. How could someone talk to me like this? Especially my father, right? But today, I couldn’t be more thankful for what he said to me on that day because that’s when my journey to health and happiness started.
After I ended my call with my father, I made a drastic change in my lifestyle, looked for some exercises I could incorporate into my training routine and ditched junk food for good. Three months later, I reached a healthy weight and was finally happy with the way I looked.
Unfortunately, the drastic change in lifestyle went wrong when anorexia kicked in. I lost weight, sure, but at what cost? I was eating 500 calories a day (if that), burned 800+ at the gym, and fainted every morning right after getting out of bed. Talk about a life.
After about a year of giving in to anorexia, my body just couldn’t take it anymore – that’s when it all went downhill. I will spare you the details, but let’s just say that life gave me two choices: health or death.
I chose health.
Slowly, I started eating more food. It was a struggle, as anorexia haunts you in your weakest moments. Gaining weight was hard for me, especially during the first few weeks, but I tried to be as positive as I could about the process.
I wish I could say I was strong enough to recover mentally, as I recovered physically, but it wasn’t the case. I saw gaining weight as a failure; throwing everything I worked hard for the past year, in the garbage. I was devastated. That’s when my binge eating came back in full force.
At that point, I was binging every single day. A carton of ice cream in one sitting, a holiday-size box of chocolates in minutes, and everything I could find in the pantry when the urge came. Since I was extremely ashamed of my binging, I only saw one solution: purge. I quickly fell into deep depression, hiding in my room, behind my computer, for most of the day.
In May 2014, I was slapped back into reality. The gym was literally my saviour. I started working out again, losing the weight I gained over the last months, and eating according to my needs instead of calories.
As I lost weight and started to gain knowledge in health, fitness and nutrition, I decided to work on my inner self as well. I conquered my physical fears, now it was time to conquer my mental fears. I made it a goal to do things I hated every day, to help me find what my passion and purpose in life was.
ISSA Certified Personal Trainer
ISSA Certified Fitness Nutritionist
Christian Thibaudeau Weightlifting/Crossfit Certification
Poliquin Group Certified BioSignature Level I Practitioner
I don’t know where life will bring me, hopefully far, but for now, I know that I want to write. I want this blog to help you, as much as it helps me, look at life on a deeper level.
You can have a fit body and own a business.
You can have a healthy lifestyle and be an entrepreneur.
You can do what you love in life.
You can have the freedom to make your own decisions.
& You can be free.
Free from Eating Disorders, nagging bosses, self-hate, and everything else.
Enjoy the reading and reach out to me with comments, questions or simply to say Hi. I love hearing from everyone!
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